The Lanyard

I read this poem today and it made me run into the bathroom at work and cry. I am offically a hormonal mess.

The Lanyard

The other day as I was ricocheting slowly
off the pale blue walls of this room,
bouncing from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one more suddenly into the past --
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sickroom,
lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips,
set cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift--not the archaic truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hands,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

- Billy Collins


for more of billy, go to npr.com

Vera Family Reunion

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. Morning sickness, fatigue and headaches have been kicking my butt. They will pass soon though (hopefully). On Saturday Drew and I drove to Sweet Water, Texas for the Vera family reunion. There was a lot of fun and yummy BBQ to be had by everyone. You can see me better in the second photo, which is strictly the Vera's. I’m the white girl on the right.

Dream

I had a really vivid dream last night that I gave birth to a full-grown dog. A wiry little dog and I named it Bojangles. I was upset because I was really looking forward to the super tiny newborn stage and instead I had a dog. Drew went thru an actual stage in his youth where he thought he was a dog. He refused to speak, would only eat on the floor, and slept on the top of the couch like snoopy. In my dream I assumed I had a dog because my husband was really half dog. It was so weird. All of my dreams have been really vivid lately.

Yeah Drew!

Drew found out last night that he has been promoted to "lead installer" at Texas Solar. You are a solar powered rock star. I love you.

Oh Dana...

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for our baby duck feet. They are incredibly soft and adorable. Getting them in the mail completely made my day. We can't wait to put them on some little baby feet.

High Five

No one may understand, but this shirt makes me happy. I found it last spring but the company (www.heavytees.com) sold out of them. They will be reissuing this shirt in June, and I plan on ordering a very large one so I can rock it with my baby belly all summer long. Oh yeah.

growth....

My beautiful tomatoes are growing. Marlow loves it when I water the plants. He thinks its time to water Marlow and follows me to every plant.

Our little peanut...

We had our first doctor's appointment today. Our baby is officially 7 weeks and 6 days old...and looks more like a shrimp and less like a baby. They said everything looks good and the heartbeat is healthy and strong. We have a due date of November 25th...a turkey baby.

I have not been a happy camper...

I have been really sick and cranky. I've tried every known cure and recommendation for morning sickness and nothing seems to work. I'm constantly nauseous. Drew took me shopping on my lunch break yesterday....that made me feel better. :)

I want one...

This company http://www.engraveyourbook.com/index.html is custom engraving moleskin notebooks. You can choose a design from the artist series or upload your own photo or image. So very cool.

my baby's daddy...

Here are some pics that my lovely friend Michelle took while we were in NYC. I was glad to get some pictures of both drew and myself. I especially love the first one that was taken in Central Park.

Smile

Marlow loves Maggie. Marlow looks kind of retarded in this picture, but that is how he usually acts when his lady love is around.

Oh my...

I love this book. I am a thirty year old pregnant woman and I am completely entranced by this young adult reader about teenage vampire love. I know what your thinking...I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but this book is SO good. Trust me. I'm reading several pregnancy books at the same time, and this book has been a great escape from reading about all the crazy shit that is happening to my body. I made fun of my sister for reading this but she was right...it is such a good read. It's like literary candy. Thanks for the recommendation Bonnie. Also, they are currently making it into a movie. Read it before some director craps it out.

blah...

I have been very sick lately. I don't like to read, look, or even think about food. This is weird for me because I am usually obsessed with cookbooks, menu planning and food blogs. Blah. I spend the majority of my day trying to not throw up, and letting Drew know every time I do so he doesn't miss out on a moment of the suckyness. This is partially his fault anyway. The only thing I have been able to even consider eating for the last three days is tuna fish sandwiches and sour cream and onion potato chips. Thank god for potato chips.

The goods

I bought these fabrics at Purl Soho while I was in NYC. I love them both and plan on making something for my baby with them. Not sure what yet. You gotta love those dancing frogs.

the food

We ate like kings while in New York. The two items above were both at Momofuku. Steamed Pork Belly buns and their signature ramen dish with a poached egg. Incredibly delicious. My other top favorites were the braised rabbit I had at Prune and the burger I had at the Shake Shack in Madison Square Park. Both of those were eaten too fast before a picture could be taken.

the baby

Meet Beatrice. She is Dana's beautiful 3 month old baby. I love her. ...and her mommy. I embroidered the little green hoodie she is wearing in the first picture. It says, "bumble bea".

the wedding

The reason for this amazing trip was the wedding of Laura and Chris. Laura has been one of my good friends since high school. She was a beautiful bride and it felt so good to see friends I hadn't seen in years. Weddings are wonderful.

Home Sweet Home

Drew and I got in last night. We had a wonderful time in NYC, but are very happy to be home. I will start posting the NYC pics tonight. I have been nauseous for about a week now. I finally threw up for the first time this morning while I was at work. I'm glad it waited until my trip was over for the actual throw up part to start. This is not fun at all.